Tina's blogging about her second trial

In case you've missed it.

Tina is blogging about the trial that sent her mother's husband, Daniel Leaf, to prison, again.

Be sure to check out her blog at Glimpses of Hope.

Going to trial is not easy. Knowing it affects your mother, makes it worse.

Justice was served but not without a lot of emotional consequences.

Read about her journey.

I hope it inspires you.

GUILTY ON BOTH COUNTS!

The jury returned a verdict of guilty on both counts!  Daniel Leaf has been found guilty of two counts of a class B felony. More information will follow. 

Concord Monitor article from November 18th

Discussion on the Verdict on the Facebook group

Thoughts as a second trial comes near for Tina

Ever since I started this blog about 3.5 years ago I've talked through almost every post with Tina before I posted it. Her voice was taken from her by those that abused her and enabled her abuse and I never wanted to speak for her because she is a strong woman--a beautiful survivor who speaks well for herself (see her personal blog here). 

My goal from the beginning has been to have a place where the facts of Tina's story were compiled in one place so Tina could see how much support was given to her, so pastors and churches that were willing could learn about the damaging effects of not properly handling abuse cases, and where resources could be put for survivors and churches.

Looking back, I can see some of the positive results from this blog. There have been many encouraging notes for Tina over the past 3.5 years. In fact, hundreds of people sent messages of support before the trial of Ernie Willis in May 2011. There have been some wonderfully supportive pastors and even some encouraging strides for the public message of the right way for churches to handle abuse. 

For this post though, I just want to share some things from my heart about Tina. They are things that I wish everyone could see about the amazing woman, mom and wife that Tina is and the beautiful heart she has.

Things I wish everyone could see about Tina

1. Her heart after receiving news she and Tim were subpoenaed to testify at the trial of her mother's husband:

• Testifying isn't something she wants to do, but something she is willing to do because she knows it is right.
• Any pain she experiences is worth it if even one child is saved from being a potential victim of a convicted sex offender.
• Her main concerns aren't for herself, but for her children and her mother. Yes, you read her words correctly--for the woman that gave birth to her and then rejected a natural mother's heart to choose again and again an abusive husband that wasn't the children's birth father. The man that has gone to prison twice for beating her children. The man that is also a convicted sex offender.

2. What kind of mom she is to her children. I've been able to spend a considerable amount of time with Tina and her family--especially with the surgeries that her youngest daughter had. These are my personal observations.

• She is deeply compassionate and kind. There has been a lot of trauma in their family with their youngest daughter having so many surgeries.
• Her patience knows no boundaries!
• She has a great sense of humor. There is a lot of laughing and fun in her home. Sometimes I just shake my head and laugh at her pranks on the kids (like wadded up tissue in their shoes for April Fool's day or putting ice down someone's back when they aren't looking).
• She really cares about providing healthy meals and snacks. She gets up at 4:00 a.m. every other Saturday morning to organize, sort and load baskets for two different co-ops so her family gets plenty of fresh veggies and fruits affordably. Her children think she's a great cook and prefer eating at home to eating out (my kids love to eat out--probably because I do LOL).
• She teaches her children from a relational position. She isn't afraid of her authority as "Mom" but she doesn't wield it like a weapon or some artificial power play. For instance, if one of the kids is extra wiggly and having a tough time concentrating on homework, she offers five minutes on the trampoline or a bike ride around the park. She understands what normal is and has appropriate expectations by age. She realizes that behavior indicates needs and works to meet those needs. 
• She's a tireless advocate for her children's needs at school.
• She sets aside time for her children to read, lets them earn video game time and helps them stay active by planning outdoor play.
• She lets them help in the kitchen, even if it makes a mess and then helps them clean up.
• She teaches them how to do basic chores and lets them be accountable for things they can do by themselves. She rewards jobs well done and reteaches when necessary.
• Her children love her and are very affectionate with her. They know that their mom loves them unconditionally. They trust her. They feel safe with her. They know she is on their side and will never hurt them.

3. Tim has posted about this before so I won't say much, but Tina is a great wife to her husband. 

• I've watched them together. It's obvious that Tina loves Tim very much. I have absolutely no doubt that Tim trusts her completely. 
• She respects Tim and manages the things she cares for in a way that he never has to worry.
• She speaks loving words often. It's not unusual to hear her say, "Hi Handsome" when he calls her on the phone.
• Tim is pretty amazing himself. Their marriage is a beautiful example of Jesus' love for us. They are unselfish with each other and work hard to provide security, love and safety for their family.

4. Tina as a friend.

• She's had no shortage of difficult circumstances in her life over the past few years, yet she's offered me just as much support as a friend as I have ever given her. I have observed her to be this way with all her friends.
• I have never known her to ever be selfish. I've watched her give sacrificially to others in need. I've truly been amazed by this.
• Tina never tries to draw attention to herself or her own needs. Instead, she is thoughtful and tries to think of ways to help others.
• She is a beautiful picture of what God's grace can do in healing. It's not that she doesn't have bad days, but she is transparent and real about them and gets the help she needs.
• She has an amazing capacity to love and encourage others. I see Jesus in her.

Tina Asks: "Is a Broken Heart Worth the Cost?"

Tina wrote recently in a blog post that she received news her mother's husband will be prosecuted for sexual abuse. Tina and Tim have been issued a subpoena to appear at the trial.

Tina said on her blog:

"I really have no desire to go through the whole trial process again. I would much rather be home with my children. BUT I know that this is right. So many studies have shown that most sex offenders do not change and will re-offend. If my testimony can help prevent even one child from being hurt, then to me it is worth the pain that is inevitably coming."

Reporting an abuser and testifying in court is extraordinarily difficult and takes an immense amount of courage and support. Please take the time to read the entire post and leave a note of support. If you are a Christian, Tina would appreciate your prayers.

----------------------------------------

Sexual abuse is one of the most under-reported crimes and one of the crimes with the highest recidivism rates. For more information about sexual abuse or assault and how to support survivors, please see the following resources.

RAINN.ORG

• Help a loved one.
• For adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse.

http://www.rainn.org/get-information/statistics/reporting-rates

NSOPW.GOV

The Dru Sjodin National Sex Offender Public Website (NSOPW) is an unprecedented public safety resource that provides the public with access to sex offender data nationwide. NSOPW is a partnership between the U.S. Department of Justice and state, territorial, and tribal governments, working together for the safety of adults and children.

• Help and Support for Victims
• Facts, Myths, Statistics

For the days you wish God had skin on - by Tina Anderson

This post is about as real and raw as it gets. I'm not usually quite this open, but I feel like I'm supposed to share this...

I typically think of myself as a pretty joyful and optimistic person, but lately that has been so tough. Our family has walked through some pretty big stuff with our youngest daughter (In the hospital 5 times in the last 6 months and 3 major surgeries during that time). We have walked through lots of tough stuff before, but for some reason I really struggled far greater this time.

My emotions have been raw. I have felt so very down. I told one of my closest friends "I never understood how someone could have so many great family members and friends and still feel so very alone". Never that is until the last few days. I know that emotions aren't a bad thing, and sometimes the amount of exhaustion your body is in plays into these emotions, but I was not prepared to be so depressed. That just isn't me. But the last few days it was...I cried...I wanted to be alone...I wanted to have a magic wand that would make everything all better.

At some point I realized that I had to make a choice. So, my choice was....................(To read the rest of Tina's post, go to Glimpses of Hope).

A Message from Tina

Tina has posted a thought provoking post on her personal blog that cuts to the chase and needs to be spoken. She asks the question, "What message are you sending," to those that choose to support an abuser. 

I will never be able to understand a mother that chooses the abuser over her own children. 

It is not just those that choose the abuser that need to hear this message. Those that choose silence are also giving consent.

"Silence in the face of evil is itself evil: God will not hold us guiltless. Not to speak is to speak. Not to act is to act." Dietrich Bonhoeffer

“I swore never to be silent whenever and wherever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.” Elie Wiesel

"To sin by silence when they should protest makes cowards of men." Abraham Lincoln

NH Supreme Court Unanimously Rules to Deny Ernie Willis' Appeal

The NH Supreme Court handed down it's unanimous ruling today that Ernie Willis' conviction stands on ALL counts.

The Concord Monitor has it's own story: "Supreme Court upholds rape conviction, rejects religious privilege argument."

"The state Supreme Court has unanimously upheld the rape and sexual assault convictions against Ernest Willis who is serving a 15-to-30 year prison sentence for forcibly raping his teenage babysitter twice, whom he knew through Trinity Baptist Church in Concord, in 1997." 

AP picked up the story, so it is in the media nationwide. Here is the version published by the Washington Post:  "NH high court rejects church rapist’s appeal of conviction; victim, 15, forced to apologize."

 "Ernest Willis was convicted in May 2011 of raping the girl in 1997. His lawyer argued that statements he made to the pastor of the fundamentalist Trinity Baptist Church should not have been used against him. But prosecutors countered that Willis’ statements were not protected by religious privilege because they involved the sexual abuse of a child."

The ruling of the justices is interesting reading and includes some trial testimony excerpts. You can read it in its entirety here.

It is good to see justice stand. 

Tina took Aria to National Jewish Hosp. in Denver

Tina is currently in Denver with our daughter, Aria, at National Jewish Hospital. She just finished up her first week and will be there at least another week.

Please pray for the doctors as they examine Aria and try to determine the best way to treat her. It's very possible Aria will have at least one & possibly two surgeries next week.

If you'd like to read Tina's updates about her visit, you can go to her blog. The first two entries are linked below.

Blessed - Day 1 & 2

Multiple Tests - Day 3 & 4

Looking Ahead - Day 5

Tina and Aria could use your prayers for strength. It's hard being away from home, in a strange place, and dealing with doctors and hospitals on top of it all.

Thank you!!

Why Would a Pastor Cover Up Abuse?

Ever since Tina's story first became public in May of 2010, I've had a dozen or more conversations with people that just can't wrap their minds around how Chuck Phelps could have made the decisions he did. Why did he call the police but not follow up by submitting a written report? Why did he decide to allow Ernie Willis to remain in the church, even serving as an usher and attending youth activities with his children while Tina was sent away? How could a pastor that professed to love people seem to have more concern for Ernie's family than a 15 year old girl that was raped? How could he have participated in a 15 year old girl being brought before a congregation full of people to apologize for her part in a "compromising position" (pregnant from a 38 or 39 year old man who admitted to the pastor he was the aggressor)?

For those that did not grow up in independent fundamentalist churches, the situation is beyond puzzling. It seems bizarre -- obscene even. How could the adults in the congregation not interrupt or intervene? I came across a video online that may help some asking those kind of "why" questions understand a little bit better. The video is of Bob Wood teaching a counseling class at Bob Jones University back in 1994. Bob Jones University is where Chuck Phelps got two degrees. Did he sit in this class I wonder? How many other graduates of Bob Jones University went on to teach similar classes to this at other schools in the BJU orbit? Did any of them teach at Hyles Anderson College? How many churches (along with their attached schools) and mission agencies (and attached schools) have been infected by this insidious, disgusting teaching?

Darrell over at Stuff Fundies Like posted the video with Bob Wood's teaching with his own comments.



Scriptural Principles for Counseling the... by EricITGuyatTHGC

I just can't help but wonder how many students sat under teaching like this at Bob Jones University and later applied the principles in the lives of children still suffering the damaging effects today. It is completely heartbreaking.

Please Pray for Tina

I'd appreciate it if you would take a few moments and pray for Tina. Most of us can only imagine the stress that a survivor of abuse deals with throughout their entire lives but then imagine that your life is lived in the media for the world to see and that stress just multiplies. Sometimes the story dies down and you can go on to live a semi-normal life but for Tina her life's struggles just keep popping up into the public through the newspapers, courtroom proceedings, Facebook, survivor groups and blogs, religious organizations, and the list goes on. It's very overwhelming.

You may have heard that Ernie is appealing his conviction.
Cached text version of Concord Monitor article

      In the article it says, "Willis’s lawyers, though, believe those conversations should have been off limits, protected by a religious privilege that allows a minister to not disclose confessions made to him in his 'professional character as a spiritual advisor.' On Wednesday, they’ll argue the issue before the state Supreme Court, asking that the justices overturn Willis’s convictions."

Tina needs your prayers. Even though some say it's highly unlikely that the conviction will be overturned, just the chance that it might can really cause some sleepless nights.

Here are some specific things you can pray for.

1. God's peace in Tina's heart.
2. God's wisdom and strength in Tina's life to go through the challenges that she must face.
3. God's healing of Tina's body, soul, and spirit.
4. Wisdom for the State Supreme Court that justice will continue to be served.
5. Whatever else God lays on your heart.

Please pray and I'm sure she could use some words of encouragement.

Thank you for all your prayers. Thank you for your love and concern for our family. It is greatly appreciated.

Support Your Spouse

For me, supporting my wife was not an option. It’s one of the reasons God gave her to me. I’ve come to realize that I may have an advantage over some spouses because I knew about my wife’s abuse within the first few days of dating. My wife thought that I’d run off scared. We’d both been through trying times in our lives and it just made us connect. I know that knowing about her abuse before I fell in love with her is an advantage over some couples but love is a choice. When you got married, you made a commitment “for better or for worse.” We always hope the “worse” never comes but now that the secret is out, I pray that you’ll stand by your spouse. Here are some things that I’d like you to think about.

Be proud of her

When my wife told me her story, I was proud of her. She’d endured so much abuse and she still loved God and wanted to serve Him. She did right by giving her baby up for adoption and had moved on with her life and was trying to make the best of it. I admired her for her strength.

Don’t blame her

It’s not her fault. My wife had no control over the things that happened to her. Blaming her in any way is putting the blame on the wrong person. You can also play the “what if” game but it does not matter. She was abused. Someone took advantage of her and it was not her fault.

She’s not damaged

Some might view a person who has been sexually abused as “damaged goods.” This is far from true. A person may have wounds and scars from the life they have endured but this does not make them damaged. I’ve never looked at my wife as being less of a person because someone abused her. I look at her and realize that she’s a better person because of her past. I’ve always thought that God was going to use her in a special way to be a blessing and encouragement to others because of what she’s gone though.

Help her get justice

This is an area that I feel bad about because it never crossed my mind to get justice for Tina. Tina may not have been ready for it but I never brought it up. She had moved on, had accepted it as her past, and was trying to get on with life and “forget” about it. The great thing is that God had His timing and when the time was right, God worked out the details.

Stand with her (Be Supportive)

It is not an easy thing to bring up the past. It’s even harder to make things right and bring about justice. It’s even harder when you, as a spouse, are not supportive. Your spouse needs you. She needs to know that you support her and will stand with her. She needs to know that no matter what happens you will be with her, not judge her, and do whatever is necessary to make sure she feels loved. It makes everything a million times harder if she thinks you’re going to do to her like everyone else who has abused her in her life.

Listen

Most of the time you’re not going to know what to say but if you just listen, it will go a long way. You may not even understand because you have not gone through it. That’s fine. If you can be a sounding board for her, it will show you how much you love her.

Get Counseling

If you’re having a hard time coming to grips with your spouses abuse, get a licensed counselor who specializes in abuse and have that person help you walk through the issues that you are and will face in the future. Your spouse may be dealing with things that he/she may not understand and it will help them also.

Conflicts will happen

There are times when conflicts will arise between couples because of the stress caused by dealing with the past. Be aware of this. This is probably where I struggled the most because I sometimes took it personal and it wasn’t really me that she was upset with but I was the closest and even the little things were made bigger.

Be aware

Pay attention to your wife. There were times I could tell my wife was not sleeping well and I could only imagine the nightmares she may be having. Do something to help comfort her. I used to turn on the radio or put on a CD of Christian music for her. This seemed to soothe her because the positive, life-affirming music would drown out the dreams and subconsciously dwell on something more positive than her past.

Pray

My prayer was for me to understand my wife better. I knew it wasn’t her that needed to change but me. I figured that if God could help me see things from my wife’s point of view, than I could help her through the things she was going through. In turn, this would translate into a stronger relationship between us.

See the light

You may be going through a dark tunnel right now and see no end in sight but keep your eye on God and He will bring you through. Eventually, you will see the light at the end of the tunnel. The best light you see is when you see God’s hand directing and leading and bringing glory to His name because you did what was right. And hopefully you get to see justice. Unfortunately, that does not always happen but it’s great when you do.

This is not an easy thing to go through but it’s easier when you do it with someone you love and with someone who loves you. The Bible talks about two being better than one because when the one falls the other is there to pick them up. That’s marriage and when the trials of life, both literally and figuratively, happen, you’re there to support each other. 

I realize that it’s not just men that have to deal with a wife that’s been abused. Unfortunately, boys have been abused also and it’s just as hard for men to admit they’ve been abused as it is for women. There are a lot of books about abuse but I’d like to introduce you to a man who had to go through this journey. Bill Harbeck lived with his secret for over thirty years. I’ve read his story, Shattered: One Man’s Journey from Sexual Abuse and it is heart-wrenching. I’ve met and talked with him and his wife a couple of times. I would encourage you to read his story.

Daniel Leaf Indicted for His Abuse of Tina Anderson

Daniel Leaf has been indicted for his abuse of his stepdaughter, Tina Anderson, when she was a young child.

"Man named in rape trial now indicted:  Stepfather faces sex assault counts"
by Maddie Hanna on August 23, 2012

A few quotes:

"When she testified last year to being raped and impregnated as a teenager in 1997 by a married man who attended her Concord church, Tina Anderson told jurors she also had been sexually assaulted by her stepfather years earlier. 

Anderson said at trial that her mother and her pastor at Trinity Baptist told her to forgive her stepfather, Daniel Leaf, for the abuse, and he never faced charges in connection with her allegations. 

That changed last week, when a Merrimack County grand jury handed down two aggravated felonious sexual assault indictments charging Leaf with assaulting Anderson between 1990 and 1992, starting when she was 10 years old." 

The topic of "Forgive & Forget" was brought up at the trial of the man who was convicted of raping Tina. You can read more about that here.

Tina's biological mother, Chris Leaf allowed Daniel Leaf back in her home even though he had been imprisoned in Arizona and NH for abusing the children (convicted of assault with evidence of extensive bruising). In addition, Daniel Leaf was a convicted child sex offender. She continues to live with him today in NH. Clearly, she chose her pervert, pedophile, child abusing husband over the well-being of her children.

More from the article...

"He was also convicted of second-degree assault in 1992, according to the registry. Christine Leaf, his wife and Anderson's mother, testified in court last year that her husband had been found guilty of the assault for spanking her son. She said he spent seven years in prison for the sexual assault conviction, which she said related to a victim who wasn't one of her children.

Yesterday afternoon, Christine Leaf answered the door at the couple's house in Tilton and said she did not think her husband, who was inside, would wish to comment.

"Really, I don't think we have anything to say," Christine Leaf said, asked whether her husband maintains his innocence."

Hopefully, Daniel Leaf will finally be held accountable for the abuse of Tina. She deserves justice, as do all children abused by anyone. Children should be safe in their homes, churches and schools. In my opinion, pedophiles should never be released from prison. I believe the recidivism rate demonstrates that they just cannot be trusted to be around children ever again. Keeping them locked up seems to be the only way to protect children from them.

Would you like to help Tina and Tim?

Tim has been updating folks on Aria's medical condition on his blog:  Tina's Marine.  I've had a number of folks ask me how they can help. It's really hard to figure out an easy way to do that without giving out their address, so I just asked Tim what I could tell people.

If you would like to contribute to help towards Aria's medical expenses (about $3000 just for the most recent brain surgery), you can send a gift via their PayPal account (they are verified users of PayPal). The e-mail address to use for sending the gift is tinas.marine@gmail.com.

If you are wondering more about Aria's condition, you can read about it here.

DEALING WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS

Most of us coming out of IFB churches and organizations have to deal with family and friends. This separation can put a lot of strain on you, your spouse, your kids, and those around you. For some, family and friends have chosen not to associate with you and have “separated” from you. This is not easy.

Every situation is different but I have a few suggestions on what you can do based on my personal experience.

REMEMBER

o   How hard it was for you to leave.

o   Why it’s hard for most people to leave.

·         The loss of family and friends

·         The lies, gossip, misunderstandings, mean, and unchristian things that will be done and said.

·         The assumption that they’re not following God any more and maybe they weren’t saved in the first place.

·         It's all they have ever known, and change is tough!

REALIZE

o   Some have spent decades in this type of church and organization and don’t know anything else.

o   They might not be aware of the abuses in other churches or possibly even their own church (lots of stuff is "behind the scenes" or hidden).

o   They’re comfortable where they are with what they know.

o   They might not see the problem.

o   If they do see a problem, they don’t know what to do.

o   That you didn’t see clearly all the abuse until you left.

REMAIN

o   Open to restoring relationships and friendships

o   Vigilant in pointing out abuse

o   Strong in your resolve to do what honors God

o   Prayerful – asking for deliverance of others from the hands of abusers

RESOLVE

o   To speak up for victims

o   To not attack others

I’m more fortunate than some in that my sisters and we love each other and haven’t broken fellowship over our differences. I’m sure they’re concerned for my family because we left the IFB and we’re concerned because they’re still in it. Either way, we love and support each other. With my dad’s situation, I’ve not told my dad but I can imagine a parent’s displeasure that you’ve chosen a different path than what you’ve been taught.

Our goal is for our family to honor and please God, not please others. We just pray that we can keep shedding the light on abuse to bring about a change in the system of religion that we grew up in. We pray for change and we see it slowly as people leave the IFB for churches that love God and each other.

My Incredible Wife

I want to publicly say that “I LOVE MY WIFE!!!” My wife is a great woman. I don’t think she realizes how special of a person she is and as I’ve watched her over the past ten years, she has just become an incredible woman. I know she’s an inspiration to many but I want you to know that she’s an inspiration to me also. I love to see how God is using her to help others, just by being a friend. How her friends know they can call her for support and not judgment, for advice and wisdom, and sometimes just to chat because they need a friend and they know she’ll listen. I love her heart for people that are hurting and how she empathizes deep in her heart and soul when she receives a message (email, FB, etc.) from someone who is hurting. I know she wishes she could do more but she does her best to comfort and support the wounded heart the best she can.

I’m impressed with her ability to take care of her family. She handles the day-to-day operations of our family of feeding, clothing, laundry, cleaning, shopping, couponing, medical visits, paying the bills, discipline, crowd control, and basic all-around wisdom. I love how excited she gets when she’ll come home from the store and bought $50 worth of stuff for $15 or she saved 50% on the food bill and is still disappointed that she didn’t do better. She’s just awesome this way in making our finances stretch as far as possible.

I love how she tries to make me a better man and father. I appreciate her for her wisdom and insight. I’ll be honest, I don’t always like it and I don’t always agree with her but when she says something, I take it under serious consideration. I respect her, her wisdom and her viewpoint and I try not to take it for granted. I’m not perfect but by God’s grace, I pray I’m getting better.

The longer I’m with her the more I love her. We fit pretty well together. Of all the people I know, there is nobody else that I’d want to be married to.

I love you, Sweetheart!!!

Tina's Blog

Tina has been writing some really good stuff from her heart. I'd encourage you to check it out.

A Real Attempt at Change or a "Show Window?"

What Real Change Looks Like - Part 1

What Real Change Looks Like - Part 2

A year ago...

A year ago about two dozen supporters gathered from all over the country to support Tina Anderson through the trial of Ernie Willis. Some of the supporters who came had never even met Tina, but were so impacted by her story that they came to sit in the courtroom every day to show her their support. The Concord, NH based supporters were amazing. They fed us, gave us a place to sleep and loved us. On the day of the verdict finding Ernie Willis guilty on all counts, a local rape crisis support group celebrated justice by releasing balloons and gathering in support of Tina.

I've been thinking back on that week today and feeling thankful.

Tina is blogging!

In one of my conversations with Tina recently, she mentioned that she had many things on her mind that she wanted to share with others and that she had been writing it all down. I was thrilled to hear this because I know how much she has encouraged me and others I know in our own journey of healing. I was also excited because there have been so many times I just wished people could see the beautiful spirit and soul that makes Tina who she is.

Healing from any kind of abuse is a personal journey. No one can make it for us and we'll all have variations that are unique to us. Tina's path is her own.

Two years ago this month, Tina's story went public when Ernest Willis was arrested. In April 2011, ABC 20/20 aired the episode featuring Tina's story (see press timeline here). It was one year ago this week that her rapist was finally brought to justice. Tina's willingness to let her story be told by the media has accomplished a number of things in the last two years:

1. Pastors were alerted to areas where they need to do better with policies and procedures in their own churches. Even in IFB circles there have been open conversations about the appropriate way to handle difficult circumstances involving minors, sexual assault and what "church discipline" is or should be. I'm no longer in IFB circles but I'm grateful to see these conversations happening. It is my prayer that more leaders within the IFB will be willing to step forward and push for change. Though the IFB leaders like to emphasize that they are "independent" and thus there is no real network, there are a number of influential organizations that can effect change if only their leadership would be willing to boldly talk about the way to handle abuse properly: 
• The Fundamental Baptist Fellowship International (For opportunities to contact influential leaders in the FBFI, see lists immediately below)
  • Officers of the FBFI
  • FBFI Board of Directors
  • FBFI Regional Directors
  • FBFI State/Country Representatives
  • FBFI Supporting Churches
• Trinity Baptist Church, Concord NH has been hosting a leadership conference for IFB churches in New England for over 20 years. These conferences are well attended and include guest speakers from many IFB organizations and churches. Current senior pastor, Brian Fuller, recently spoke at four chapel services in one week at Bob Jones University.
• Bob Jones University
• Maranatha Baptist Bible College
• Pensacola Christian College
• Northland International University
• Hyles Anderson College
• Ambassador Baptist College
• Crown College
• Golden State Baptist College
• International Baptist College
• Trinity Baptist College
• For other IFB colleges, click here
2. Because of Tina's courage many other victims have come forward and are finding help and healing. 
3. There has been an increase in awareness among church attenders of the problems associated with abuse--especially sexual abuse--and how it is handled in churches.
4. There has been an increased awareness of important safety concerns for parents. Just because a place SHOULD be safe for children doesn't mean it will be safe.
5. There has been a lot of public conversation for how to offer the best possible support for victims of abuse. This includes reporting to law enforcement agencies immediately, and making sure medical and licensed psychological support for healing is provided. 

If you have suffered from any kind of abuse, help is available! 

• Online assistance from the National Sexual Assault Online Hotline.  
• For assistance by phone, you can always reach your local rape crisis center directly by calling the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673).

The title of Tina's blog is "Glimpses of Hope." I hope you are blessed by it as much as I am!

What does repentance look like?

Though repentance will surely look different depending on the situation, there are some standard aspects on which most Christians would agree: admission of wrong, seeking forgiveness, and making restitution.

I read with tears the most recent status report from G.R.A.C.E. (Godly Response to Abuse in the Christian Environment) regarding the ABWE handling of the decades old child abuse by Don Ketcham in Bangladesh.

I think this is a good example of what repentance looks like from an organization. Here is an excerpt:

"In May 2011, ABWE entered into an agreement with the G.R.A.C.E. organization, asking it to investigate the tragic child abuse more than two decades ago by Donn Ketcham in Bangladesh. At the time, we wrote to tell you why it was so necessary for us to probe deeply into what happened in 1989 and its aftermath.

This May, we need to give you an update, to open our heart to you about how deeply we are grieved by the hurt caused by actions so wrong that they can only be described as indefensible. We need also to tell you about the changes we have already made.

The G.R.A.C.E. investigation is not complete, and we do not know how much longer it will take to complete it. However, we already know of things that need to be changed. Repentance does not wait.

The first step in repentance is to acknowledge one’s failure. We have acknowledged that people in leadership positions made decisions that were unwise and unacceptable. These include:" (to read more go HERE)

I don't know why there's been no visible evidence of repentance from those that wronged Tina. But I know it is never too late to say, "I'm sorry my actions hurt you. Will you forgive me?"

Sermon Audio comment

I saw this on Sermon Audio in comments. I liked it and thought I'd share it.