CONTEMPLATIONS

A while back I wrote about people’s responses to Tina’s story and asked the question, “What is your response to an abscess?” The past year and a half has been an interesting journey to see how this story has been used to motivate others to make a difference in their circle of influence. How many stories do you know that impact so many different institutions and churches from all over the country? I doubt you know too many and probably none that bring to light the need to address the many forms of abuse that are happening in independent, fundamental, Baptist churches and schools.

It’s been almost two years since we received the phone call from the police asking about Tina’s rape at 15 and the events that surrounded that horrible situation. Little did we know how her story becoming public would change our lives. The police gave us a choice. Tina could come to NH and she could give her statement in person or she could write out her statement and send it to them. We reached out to numerous church leaders in at least three different states and asked for advice. The responses from all of them varied but the most surprising to me was the responses from my own church, the one I grew up in. I expected full support for Tina and my family. The advice, reactions, and the different things that happened behind the scenes helped open my eyes that there was a problem in fundamentalism.

I also started doing a lot of reading. I came across Stuff Fundies Like and Darrell Dow’s Blog. I would start at the beginning and read their journey in, through, and sometimes out of fundamentalism and I related to the struggles and confusion of what I had been taught compared to what I encountered in the “world.” Sometimes the comments are more enlightening than the actual post itself. I started coming across blogs that talked about abuse in the church, such as: Stop Baptist Predators, Blog on the Way, Elizabeth Esther, Emotional Abuse and your Faith, FBC Jax Watchdog, IFB Deception, and others. I don’t agree with everything that these people post but they helped me think about different issues and to view things from an angle and made me aware of some of the issues that people encounter when they go to church. I also came across blogs that shared the story of their lives and the abuse that they encountered, such as: Flotsam & Jetsam, Stitching up the Seams, HGC, and many others. Their stories gave me a bigger perspective on the lives of others outside of my family and the issues that they faced. As time went by, I noticed that more and more people were finding their voice, even if anonymously. More and more people were standing up to say, “That’s enough. I must stand up against abuse. I can’t sit on the sidelines anymore.” I saw more blogs pop up or I saw more posts by people who were already blogging but now they were addressing the issue of abuse in fundamental, Baptist churches. Blogs, such as: Chuckles Travels, Pensees, Desert Petrichor. There are also multiple blogs regarding BJU, such as: BJU Hurts, BJU Accreditation, Chance Rants, which in our circles, BJU has been a major influence in the IFB. I also came across a number of blogs that discussed issues and topics from the IFB viewpoint that only reinforced the decision I made for my family to leave the IFB “notwork.” I also started reading a lot on Sharper Iron and the very aptly named Fighting Fundamental Forums, which showed me and others their true colors towards those people who dared to disagree with them. Again, the comments were another confirmation to me that leaving the IFB was the best decision for my family.

We have now entered 2012. The past year has been full of ups and downs. 20/20 aired six months after they told us it originally would air. The more they researched, the more information they uncovered. I was surprised that the show was only an hour. Of course, the firestorm of IFBdom hit and the hatred that spewed from various IFB sites toward Tina and others really surprised me. It made me realize a few things, which I wrote about here. While having to deal with the lies, character assassinations, twisting of facts, and people’s assumptions and their version of the “truth,” we (especially Tina) also had the stress of the looming trial of Ernie Willis.

That trial was probably the most stressful thing that Tina has gone through during our marriage, other than being married to me. That’s a whole new level of stress on her. Anyway, what a roller coaster of emotions that she went through with giving her testimony, hearing others testify, having people she knew and didn’t know show up to support her, intimidation tactics, legal maneuvers, etc. I can only imagine how she felt. I know I felt very anxious and tried to keep my mind on my job while also keeping up with the events of the trial. We thank all those who supported Tina during this time and this also includes the people from our church that came to take care of our three kids while I went to work during the day. The timing of the trial also caused Tina to miss our son’s kindergarten graduation. You can imagine Tina’s disappointment.

Blog activity regarding Tina’s story seemed to wind down by the end of summer. The sentencing of Tina’s rapist happened in September and the blogs started up again. Activity died down again and then the news that Chuck Phelps was on the BJU Board and things picked up again with the primary focus being on BJU, Chuck Phelps, with the use of Tina’s name again. What’s been amazing to watch is where Tina’s story has impacted lives. We knew it would be talked about but we didn’t realize how much. We hoped it would impact and inspire people to stand up for victims but we didn’t realize how polarizing it would become. It’s hard to take a hard look at yourself and realize that you have been doing things that are harmful to others and unscriptural but it’s much harder for a church or religious organization to do that. Human nature screams “defense, defense” instead of “be open, vulnerable, honest, and willing to change” when confronted with mistakes or sin.

After Chuck Phelps was not on the BJU Board any longer, things quieted down for the holidays. That’s been a blessing. Discussions are still going on in various places but hopefully the story continues to encourage victims of abuse to seek help, advocates to be supportive, pastors to examine their methodology and ways they may be condoning abuse, church members to stop defending or making excuses for abusers (whether pastor or layman) in their congregation, and colleges to evaluate their policies of reporting abuse and teach their students proper responses to abuse, such as: reporting, love and support, compassion, and acceptance instead of blame.

I know this is not the end of Tina’s story. It’s bound to pop up again in the public eye. I’m just wondering what will happen next. At the beginning, I told Tina that I’m going into Marine mode, hence “Tina’s Marine.” I’m here to support and defend her. Our prayer has always been for God to move in ways that only He can move. We’ve seen that happen. We’ve chosen to be used by Him for whatever His purpose. We have also tried not to be a hindrance to Him by seeking our own form of justice or manipulation of who’s impacted by Tina’s story. Our goal was to help see justice, which we’ve seen happen on a number of different levels. Only God knows what other justice God has planned. Our goal was to show others that they are not alone and to encourage others to speak up. Each day more and more are encouraged to speak up for themselves and others. It makes our journey worth it.

"God's grace and goodness towards us is so immeasurably great, that without great assaults and trials it cannot be understood" ~ Martin Luther

A “THANK YOU” TO 20/20, ESPECIALLY ELIZABETH VARGAS AND ALAN GOLDBERG

I wanted to write an open letter to those who helped tell the stories of Rachel, Jocelyn, and Tina. In May ’10, Tina’s story broke to the public. The wide-reaching impact of her story we never imagined. We never realized that Tina telling her story to the police and the arrest of Ernie would cause such an uproar all over the country. We were warned but we were still surprised. Many, many shows, networks, newspapers, and others called for interviews. We accepted three. One was on Memorial Day weekend, another from a local network after the trial was over, and the biggest from 20/20.

We accepted 20/20’s request because we were sure of your journalistic credibility and the seriousness of this story would not be taken lightly. My wife and I were not disappointed and we know there was a lot more that could have been told. There was a lot more information that you dug up while researching that could have had us glued to the TV for another hour or two. If you were doing an in-depth analysis of IFB churches and the abuses that could be found in those churches, it would take hours upon hours to tell the experiences of all the people you could have talked to.

I wanted to thank you for how much work you all did. Originally we were told that the story would air in September ‘10 and then it was pushed to January ‘11, then March and then finally aired in April 8, 2011. Waiting for that story to air was tough. When the newspapers hit with the story, it was big and so we were much more aware of what could happen when it hit TV.

I want to thank Alan Goldberg for his professionalism, kindness, thoroughness, and so many more things. He came to our house at the end of June ’10. He hung around with us for about 48 hours filming and asking lots of questions. The biggest thing that I admire him for is how he handled our church situation. He wanted to film us going to our church. Well, we didn’t have one. We had visited a couple of churches and there was one we had been to twice and suggested we do it there. He called the pastor to ask permission to film in the church. The pastor had met us once but he called us (and we appreciate this pastor for doing this) and he made sure it was ok with us before he gave Alan permission to come. Alan was not planning on staying long but we asked him to stay and we are glad that Alan did. We also appreciated Alan because he kept us informed of how things were coming along.

I want to thank Elizabeth Vargas and everyone else involved with interviews, research, filming, and all the work that was involved in presenting the stories of Rachel, Jocelyn, and Tina to the public. I’m sure that a lot of the things that you uncovered surprised you. People can tell that you were surprised by the answers you received as you are interviewing them. I wish I could say that I was surprised. I was fortunate not to have experienced the depth of some of the abuse that has happened in some of these churches but I’ve heard too many stories and experienced the culture of the IFB in many churches and I understand how the environment can lead to abuse, if it hasn’t already. Unless a person has grown up in an IFB environment, they are surprised when we tell them our stories and the things that we’ve been through. When we’ve told people in our current church what happened in the past, they can’t believe the way the situation was handled. Our current pastors thought 20/20 did a great job and were shocked. We have plans to meet with them soon to see what steps they will take if abuse happens in our current church.

I also want to apologize for all the letters, emails, tweets, comments, blog posts, etc. that have come from people claiming to love and serve God and have used it for justification for attacking Elizabeth Vargas and the 20/20 news story. Some accused you of having an agenda and then going out to find people to support what you think. The facts of the story have been substantiated through multiple sources. The only agenda you had was to tell Tina’s story and then substantiate it through research. That’s exactly what you did. You had two other women from different churches from different parts of the country tell you their experiences to show that what happened to Tina was not an isolated event. Unfortunately, it happens all too often.

The biggest thing that the IFB seemed to be upset about was being lumped together with other IFB and labeled a cult or has cult-like tendencies. I saw more concern for their reputation than addressing the problems in IFB churches. They want to band together at conferences, fellowships, colleges, seminaries, camps, meetings, etc. but when something ugly happens or sin exposed or someone exposes a problem with an IFB church or organization, they want to retreat to their “independent” church and say that it does not involve them because “we don’t have any say in what happens over there.”

It was not 20/20 that stated all IFB churches are a cult. You did reference a website that states all IFB churches are a cult and one or more of the people that you interviewed stated they are a cult or had cult-like tendencies. You allowed them to state their opinions and they are entitled to them. Based on your research and the thousands of stories of abuse all over the country, it would be pretty hard to prove them wrong.

I understand their anger and frustration about being lumped together. One of the “rules” of arguing or debating is that you don’t use “always” or “never” because that is what people will get hung up on. They’ll think of the one time they didn’t do something or the one time they did do something and miss the whole point of the argument. In this situation, if the word “most” or “almost all” had been used, the statement would have been dismissed as not referring to them because not everyone is doing it and we are one of those that are not.

IFB churches and organizations will say, “I’m not a cult” but they need to examine why people are saying it. Nobody likes to be lumped together with anything that is negative. Someone might be able to find an exception to the rule of “everybody” but if a pastor(s) in a church demand a high level control over their congregation and ministries, and have what some would consider cult-like tendencies; the atmosphere of these churches will lead to abuse. This abuse will come in many forms, such as: financial, spiritual, verbal, physical, emotional, and even sexual. IFB churches don’t consider themselves a cult or even abusive but if they keep going down the path that a lot of IFB churches seem to be going down, they will be a cult. I doubt that anybody who has been in a cult sees it as a cult while they are in it; they just see themselves as being right.

Thank you, 20/20. Some got the message. Because of your presentation, individuals and families in churches have been able to examine their surroundings and have chosen to make a difference. Some have brought attention to the pedophiles in their church and are making changes to protect their children. Some have chosen to speak out about their own abuse and are trying to heal from the wounds that have been hidden for so long. I hope people will share some of the changes that have happened in their own lives and in their churches.

There were some that claimed you were being unfair or unbalanced in your approach to this story. They assumed that you ignored evidence that conflicted with what they assumed was your bias. They must not have noticed and should watch it again. I want to thank you for trying to tell both sides of the story. You gave a chance for Brian Fuller to explain his side of the IFB movement. He gave the standard lines that most pastors would have given you if you had been able to interview them. You saw him squirming when he was confronted with the pedophiles in his own church. The last that I heard, those men are not part of the congregation at Trinity any more. I want to thank you on behalf of the children at Trinity. This story made church members aware of who attended their church. This also helped them make changes in how they protect their children. They say they were doing it in the past but now it’s in writing.

Several times throughout the program a statement was made by one of the people being interviewed and viewers of 20/20 were shown or told what (such as Phelps’ statement to 20/20) and who (Phelps’ wife) disagreed with a statement. 20/20 tried to interview Matt Olson, Chris Leaf, and Chuck Phelps to get their point of view but they refused. You finally had to surprise him in person to get a statement from Chuck Phelps. Several IFB people had chances to give their side of the story. Only one person had enough courage to stand up for their church and the IFB. I’m sure 20/20 tried to interview people from Marquette Manor to get the other side of Rachel’s story. I’d be curious to know who on the pastoral staff turned down interviews with 20/20.

Thank you, 20/20. I believe that you did a great job. I pray that the stories you heard, the information you dug up, the sermons that you heard preached, the hateful responses you received from those professing to believe in God did not harden your heart about God. I pray that you understand that the Creator God, the Jesus who came to earth to die for our sins and rose again, does not condone the sins that are found in many churches. I believe that the story you told of Rachel, Jocelyn, and Tina is part of a wake-up call to the churches that are called IFB. I believe that if the sin of abuse, that is in many of these churches, is not addressed through “sackcloth and ashes,” these churches will see God’s judgment.

Watch Tina Anderson's Story on ABC 20/20 with Elizabeth Vargas

Watch Tina Anderson's Story in the IFB on ABC 20/20 with Elizabeth Vargas

Friday 10:00pm

ABC - 20/20 on your TV!

Our courageous friend, Tina Anderson told her story of growing up in the Independent Fundamental Baptist Church (Trinity Baptist Church, Concord NH), being raped at 15 by a member of the church, and being put up for "church discipline" - which included being kicked out of her Christian School, having to publicly apologize to church members for 'her 1% guilt in the situation (according to Pastor Chuck Phelps), then was sent away against her will to another IFB church in Colorado to deliver and give her baby up for adoption. Tina told her story to the Concord Monitor last year, http://www.concordmonitor.com/article/woman-i-was-afraid-to-tell-of-rape - and appeared on CBS The Early Show and is now a part of Elizabeth Vargas’ yearlong investigation into The Independent Fundamental Baptist Church, Airing On “20/20,” Friday, April 8, 10-11 PM ET

Come watch it with us in support of Tina Anderson and other Victims of the IFB Churches.

From 20/20:

Try to imagine the pain and humiliation of a teenage girl, just 15 years old, who says she was forced to stand in front of a New Hampshire church congregation and confess her "sin" of being pregnant. She says not only was she forced to confess her pregnancy, but also to ask for their forgiveness – with no mention of the man she says sexually abused her. After all, she says, the pastor told her it's better than being stoned to death as the bible describes. That is what Tina Anderson alleged happened to her at her ultra conservative Independent Fundamental Baptist, or IFB, Church. The IFB has thousands of congregations across the country, but many people have never heard of it. That was, until another woman, Jocelyn Zichterman, began a public campaign – armed with nothing but a computer and memories of her own alleged abuse that she says church beliefs can foster. And survivors are now coming out of the woodwork, to say she's not alone.

Elizabeth Vargas’ yearlong exclusive investigation into a religious sub-culture that critics claim can foster – even cover up – physical and sexual abuse airs on “20/20” on FRIDAY, APRIL 8 (10:00 – 11:00 p.m. ET) on the ABC Television Network. Critics say the church teaches a strict interpretation of the bible including the practice known as breaking the will of the child, with some advocating that it even be applied to infants as young as two weeks old.

Full details here:
http://blogs.abcnews.com/pressroom/2011/04/a-religious-sub-culture-many-americans-have-never-heard-of-yet-has-thousands-of-churches-across-the-.html