ABUSE: People just don’t “Get It”

People who have never been abused will never understand. If you’ve never been in a highly authoritative religious environment, you’ll never understand what it means to be spiritually abused. If you’ve never lived in a home where your father and/or mother physically abused you, you’ll never understand what it is to be a child in that environment and how that abuse will affect you the rest of your life. If you’ve never been raped or physically violated, you’ll never understand the trauma, emotions, conflicts, reactions, etc. that happen before, during and after an assault. 

I’m one of those people. The closest one that I understand is spiritual abuse because I have been in some spiritually abusive churches and organizations but my experiences are extremely mild compared to some I’ve seen and others I’ve heard about. My parents didn’t beat me. Although I’m sure some of my punishments were excessive and I did get spanked, I would never consider myself abused. I do know numerous people who have been raped and even though I live with someone who has, I’ll never truly understand what she’s gone through and what she’ll deal with the rest of her life because I’ve never experienced it.

Here are some other things that I don’t “get.”

#1 Parents…

a.       Who abuse

b.      Who marry a known abuser

c.       Who don’t protect their children from an abuser

d.      Who chose an abusive spouse over their own abused child

e.      Who reject a child that’s been abused

I just don’t understand anybody who abuses another person but even more, a parent who abuses their own children. How can a parent kick, punch, hit, slap, push or use any form of physical violence against their children? I do understand spanking but even then there are other forms of effective discipline that don’t require you to hit a child.

I understand even less raping your own children. How can a parent do this? It’s so disgusting and revolting that I just don’t understand how any person can do that to another person, let alone a child. 

How can a person turn their back on their children? Why would a parent stand up for the abuser and turn their back on their child who has been abused? I’ve heard too many stories of parent(s) turning against their child because the child finally had the courage to speak up. The mom doesn’t want to send her husband to jail but would prefer he keep abusing. The parents blame their daughter or son for being molested by a relative, friend, sitter, or church member. 

I’m just disgusted and I don’t understand the mentality of parents not supporting their abused children.

#2 Church leaders and Religious Organizations who…

a.       Abuse by leaders and church members

b.      Cover up abuse

1.       “You don’t want to break up a family, do you?”

2.      “We’ll deal with it internally.”

3.       “If this gets out, it will hurt our ministry.”

4.      “You shouldn’t take another Christian to court.”

5.   "Let's not dig up the past. He's changed. He's not the person he used to be." 

c.       Give Platitudes

1.       “forgive and forget”

2.      “just get over it”

3.       “let God deal with it”

4.      “you need to give it to God”

5.      “don’t become bitter”

d.      Disregarding

1.       "Our church is not like that."

2.      "We’re autonomous." or "We're not responsible for what that church does."

3.    "Those bloggers, advocates, and victims are just bitter."

4.   "Your PTSD, nightmares, and other problems are not real. It's all in your head. You're just dwelling in the past."

5.   "You're just being vindictive."

It really bothers me that some churches don’t “get it.” They just don’t understand and what’s worse, they don’t seem to want to understand. They’re more concerned about image than justice. They’d rather enforce rules than practice grace. They’d rather be on the defense for religious leaders and organizations than on the offensive for the abused.

 I don't understand why church leaders and organizations will condemn another church over music, clothing, and other standards but they won't address that same church or organization when there is a known issue that the pastor or leader who is abusing, has abused, or has covered up an abuse.

Those of us who don’t experientially understand are not excused from understanding the people that are involved. We love and support. When we don't, we're not much better than the abuser. We don't have to understand what it is to be abused to do what is right.

We need to understand that helping a victim is what God wants us to do. We need to worry about our heart being right with God, not protecting an "image." Let's have character and let God worry about His image. Let us worry about doing the right thing. When we do that, we show the world how God loves.

God’s love is what I want to understand. His love is what I have experienced and that is what I want to demonstrate to those who’ve been abused.

Why Would a Pastor Cover Up Abuse?

Ever since Tina's story first became public in May of 2010, I've had a dozen or more conversations with people that just can't wrap their minds around how Chuck Phelps could have made the decisions he did. Why did he call the police but not follow up by submitting a written report? Why did he decide to allow Ernie Willis to remain in the church, even serving as an usher and attending youth activities with his children while Tina was sent away? How could a pastor that professed to love people seem to have more concern for Ernie's family than a 15 year old girl that was raped? How could he have participated in a 15 year old girl being brought before a congregation full of people to apologize for her part in a "compromising position" (pregnant from a 38 or 39 year old man who admitted to the pastor he was the aggressor)?

For those that did not grow up in independent fundamentalist churches, the situation is beyond puzzling. It seems bizarre -- obscene even. How could the adults in the congregation not interrupt or intervene? I came across a video online that may help some asking those kind of "why" questions understand a little bit better. The video is of Bob Wood teaching a counseling class at Bob Jones University back in 1994. Bob Jones University is where Chuck Phelps got two degrees. Did he sit in this class I wonder? How many other graduates of Bob Jones University went on to teach similar classes to this at other schools in the BJU orbit? Did any of them teach at Hyles Anderson College? How many churches (along with their attached schools) and mission agencies (and attached schools) have been infected by this insidious, disgusting teaching?

Darrell over at Stuff Fundies Like posted the video with Bob Wood's teaching with his own comments.



Scriptural Principles for Counseling the... by EricITGuyatTHGC

I just can't help but wonder how many students sat under teaching like this at Bob Jones University and later applied the principles in the lives of children still suffering the damaging effects today. It is completely heartbreaking.

Reactions to Abuse

I’ve been thinking about the different reactions that people have when it comes to abuse. The idea of abuse just boggles my mind. I don’t understand the mentality that goes into harming another person. I know we’ve all done it to one extent or another but to purposefully set out to abuse another person physically, sexually, spiritually, and/or mentally, is something I have a hard time understanding. I sure we can boil a lot of it down to one person wanting to control another.

Most people struggle with the idea that a pastor can be spiritually abusive or that a relative might be sexually abusing children, especially when it comes to their children. It’s hard to imagine that your neighbor or co-worker physically abuses their spouse or children. It’s hard for us to recognize in ourselves that we might be abusive in our words and actions to those around us. 

Some of the reactions that we might have when it comes to abuse in any form is….

QUESTIONING GOD

“Why?” and “Where were you, God?” are always big questions when bad things happen but it seems to be a bigger question when you’re raised believing that God loves you and has your best interest at heart. It’s also harder because you might think that you’re sinning if you’re questioning God but there are many examples in Scripture that shows that asking God “why?” is a valid option and there’s no reason to feel guilty about it. We all want answers. Who better to ask than our Heavenly Father.

Some even go so far as to wonder if there is a God. If you’re taught that God is good and loving and in control of everything but then you’re abused by the people (parents, family, pastors, leaders, etc.) who are telling you this, is it any wonder people start to doubt? Is it any wonder that a lot of formerly religious people stopped going to church and some have become agnostic or atheist.

I like what Wade Burleson said regarding …Our Mistake About God on his blog. The entire article is good but I’ll quote a couple things. Wade says,

“Since evil is not part of God's nature, His allowance of evil to occur simply means He has a greater good in store, a greater good that would not exist were the evil to be prohibited. This is why God can hold the wicked accountable and responsible for their evil, but overcome their evil for good.”

“But God works ultimate good out of all things, including evil. For God to do this, he MUST know the end from the beginning.”

“But God works ultimate good out of all things, including evil….We can't comprehend how evil can be present for a greater good to occur. We can't fathom how One is outside of time and independent of time and has no need of time, but uses time for His glory and our ultimate good.”

QUESTIONING SELF

I have noticed that a lot of victims start wondering what’s wrong with them or what they did that made someone hurt them. Some start questioning their value as a person and some start questioning their sexual orientation. The abuse a person received from others sometimes turns inward to where they start to abuse themselves.

This questioning only gets worse if a victim does not get the support he/she needs from their family, friends, and spiritual leaders. There a many reasons why a person is not supportive but when it’s to protect someone other than the one who has been abused, it’s just despicable. For some, it’s just ignorance. We don’t understand what someone has gone through or we don’t understand how something that is said or done causes someone to question themselves.

The questioning of self may never go away but maybe with the right support a person might be able to accept themselves more. When the people around a survivor accept them for who they are, it’s easier for them to accept themselves. I know I have tried and I know I have failed at times but I have noticed a few things that have helped. First, it has helped me when my wife lets me know when something’s been said or done that has been or could be a trigger. Second, and probably the biggest, was encouraging and supporting her to seek justice. Third was moving out of our comfort zone of fundamentalism and into the unknown. We found a new church, friends who love God and have been a part of exposing abuse in fundamentalism.

DENIAL

My biggest surprise is that religious leaders have not been supportive of victims. Many deny helping a victim in lieu of  "protecting" their churches by covering the abuse. Unfortunately, the leaders are sometimes the ones doing the abuse. All the "protecting" only puts more people in danger. There are numerous stories of abusers who were "forgiven" and allowed to continue in the church only to find out years down the road a trail of victims because leaders denied help to the abuser and are basically complicate in the abuse of others they should have been protecting.

And then we have people who deny the validity of a survivor's story. It doesn’t matter the reason why you may want to question their story. They shouldn’t have to provide you with DNA evidence or even their name if they want to remain anonymous. Listen to them. Offer support and if possible, help them get justice.

Don’t deny that there is a problem. Don’t deny the fact that it might be happening in your church or religious organization. Just because people and organizations call themselves “Christian” or “Christ-like,” it does not mean that they are behaving themselves as Christ would behave.

Tina's Blog

Tina has been writing some really good stuff from her heart. I'd encourage you to check it out.

A Real Attempt at Change or a "Show Window?"

What Real Change Looks Like - Part 1

What Real Change Looks Like - Part 2

Tina is blogging!

In one of my conversations with Tina recently, she mentioned that she had many things on her mind that she wanted to share with others and that she had been writing it all down. I was thrilled to hear this because I know how much she has encouraged me and others I know in our own journey of healing. I was also excited because there have been so many times I just wished people could see the beautiful spirit and soul that makes Tina who she is.

Healing from any kind of abuse is a personal journey. No one can make it for us and we'll all have variations that are unique to us. Tina's path is her own.

Two years ago this month, Tina's story went public when Ernest Willis was arrested. In April 2011, ABC 20/20 aired the episode featuring Tina's story (see press timeline here). It was one year ago this week that her rapist was finally brought to justice. Tina's willingness to let her story be told by the media has accomplished a number of things in the last two years:

1. Pastors were alerted to areas where they need to do better with policies and procedures in their own churches. Even in IFB circles there have been open conversations about the appropriate way to handle difficult circumstances involving minors, sexual assault and what "church discipline" is or should be. I'm no longer in IFB circles but I'm grateful to see these conversations happening. It is my prayer that more leaders within the IFB will be willing to step forward and push for change. Though the IFB leaders like to emphasize that they are "independent" and thus there is no real network, there are a number of influential organizations that can effect change if only their leadership would be willing to boldly talk about the way to handle abuse properly: 
• The Fundamental Baptist Fellowship International (For opportunities to contact influential leaders in the FBFI, see lists immediately below)
  • Officers of the FBFI
  • FBFI Board of Directors
  • FBFI Regional Directors
  • FBFI State/Country Representatives
  • FBFI Supporting Churches
• Trinity Baptist Church, Concord NH has been hosting a leadership conference for IFB churches in New England for over 20 years. These conferences are well attended and include guest speakers from many IFB organizations and churches. Current senior pastor, Brian Fuller, recently spoke at four chapel services in one week at Bob Jones University.
• Bob Jones University
• Maranatha Baptist Bible College
• Pensacola Christian College
• Northland International University
• Hyles Anderson College
• Ambassador Baptist College
• Crown College
• Golden State Baptist College
• International Baptist College
• Trinity Baptist College
• For other IFB colleges, click here
2. Because of Tina's courage many other victims have come forward and are finding help and healing. 
3. There has been an increase in awareness among church attenders of the problems associated with abuse--especially sexual abuse--and how it is handled in churches.
4. There has been an increased awareness of important safety concerns for parents. Just because a place SHOULD be safe for children doesn't mean it will be safe.
5. There has been a lot of public conversation for how to offer the best possible support for victims of abuse. This includes reporting to law enforcement agencies immediately, and making sure medical and licensed psychological support for healing is provided. 

If you have suffered from any kind of abuse, help is available! 

• Online assistance from the National Sexual Assault Online Hotline.  
• For assistance by phone, you can always reach your local rape crisis center directly by calling the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673).

The title of Tina's blog is "Glimpses of Hope." I hope you are blessed by it as much as I am!

What does repentance look like?

Though repentance will surely look different depending on the situation, there are some standard aspects on which most Christians would agree: admission of wrong, seeking forgiveness, and making restitution.

I read with tears the most recent status report from G.R.A.C.E. (Godly Response to Abuse in the Christian Environment) regarding the ABWE handling of the decades old child abuse by Don Ketcham in Bangladesh.

I think this is a good example of what repentance looks like from an organization. Here is an excerpt:

"In May 2011, ABWE entered into an agreement with the G.R.A.C.E. organization, asking it to investigate the tragic child abuse more than two decades ago by Donn Ketcham in Bangladesh. At the time, we wrote to tell you why it was so necessary for us to probe deeply into what happened in 1989 and its aftermath.

This May, we need to give you an update, to open our heart to you about how deeply we are grieved by the hurt caused by actions so wrong that they can only be described as indefensible. We need also to tell you about the changes we have already made.

The G.R.A.C.E. investigation is not complete, and we do not know how much longer it will take to complete it. However, we already know of things that need to be changed. Repentance does not wait.

The first step in repentance is to acknowledge one’s failure. We have acknowledged that people in leadership positions made decisions that were unwise and unacceptable. These include:" (to read more go HERE)

I don't know why there's been no visible evidence of repentance from those that wronged Tina. But I know it is never too late to say, "I'm sorry my actions hurt you. Will you forgive me?"

Chris Peterman, "Thank You!!!"

Chris Peterman,

I want to thank you for your courage. I can only imagine what you have gone through over the past few months with being harassed, having your character assassinated, and constant intimidation. It took courage, determination, and strength to stand up for what is right. You're a true man of character.

Thank you for standing up to an institution that requires subordination to their rules with little or no accountability for their own actions. Thank you for not backing down when forced with possible expulsion six months ago.  It would have been much easier to back down, hang your head, and muddle through your last semester causing as few ripples as possible.Thank you for being an example to your fellow students of standing up for and demanding integrity in your school's leadership. I wish more students would have the courage to do what you did but if not at school, I pray that they have the courage to speak with their feet and go somewhere else to school next year.

I wish you all the best. I pray that God opens up great opportunities for you to keep accomplishing much for His Glory. You are an encouragement and a blessing to many of us!

May God's continued blessing be upon your life!!

Sincerely,

Tim Anderson "Tina's Marine"


To see more of Chris' story go to:   SFL   ChucklesTravels (1, 2, 3)   FitsNews    DU.com   DailyKos  Flotsam & Jetsam   Be the Change   Elizabeth Esther   SNAP  Christian School Confidential   TV (Channel 7 S.C.) (Fox) (BP) (CNN and CNN iReport -1 2 3) (WBN)   FBC Jax (1) (2)  Sharper Iron

CONTEMPLATIONS

A while back I wrote about people’s responses to Tina’s story and asked the question, “What is your response to an abscess?” The past year and a half has been an interesting journey to see how this story has been used to motivate others to make a difference in their circle of influence. How many stories do you know that impact so many different institutions and churches from all over the country? I doubt you know too many and probably none that bring to light the need to address the many forms of abuse that are happening in independent, fundamental, Baptist churches and schools.

It’s been almost two years since we received the phone call from the police asking about Tina’s rape at 15 and the events that surrounded that horrible situation. Little did we know how her story becoming public would change our lives. The police gave us a choice. Tina could come to NH and she could give her statement in person or she could write out her statement and send it to them. We reached out to numerous church leaders in at least three different states and asked for advice. The responses from all of them varied but the most surprising to me was the responses from my own church, the one I grew up in. I expected full support for Tina and my family. The advice, reactions, and the different things that happened behind the scenes helped open my eyes that there was a problem in fundamentalism.

I also started doing a lot of reading. I came across Stuff Fundies Like and Darrell Dow’s Blog. I would start at the beginning and read their journey in, through, and sometimes out of fundamentalism and I related to the struggles and confusion of what I had been taught compared to what I encountered in the “world.” Sometimes the comments are more enlightening than the actual post itself. I started coming across blogs that talked about abuse in the church, such as: Stop Baptist Predators, Blog on the Way, Elizabeth Esther, Emotional Abuse and your Faith, FBC Jax Watchdog, IFB Deception, and others. I don’t agree with everything that these people post but they helped me think about different issues and to view things from an angle and made me aware of some of the issues that people encounter when they go to church. I also came across blogs that shared the story of their lives and the abuse that they encountered, such as: Flotsam & Jetsam, Stitching up the Seams, HGC, and many others. Their stories gave me a bigger perspective on the lives of others outside of my family and the issues that they faced. As time went by, I noticed that more and more people were finding their voice, even if anonymously. More and more people were standing up to say, “That’s enough. I must stand up against abuse. I can’t sit on the sidelines anymore.” I saw more blogs pop up or I saw more posts by people who were already blogging but now they were addressing the issue of abuse in fundamental, Baptist churches. Blogs, such as: Chuckles Travels, Pensees, Desert Petrichor. There are also multiple blogs regarding BJU, such as: BJU Hurts, BJU Accreditation, Chance Rants, which in our circles, BJU has been a major influence in the IFB. I also came across a number of blogs that discussed issues and topics from the IFB viewpoint that only reinforced the decision I made for my family to leave the IFB “notwork.” I also started reading a lot on Sharper Iron and the very aptly named Fighting Fundamental Forums, which showed me and others their true colors towards those people who dared to disagree with them. Again, the comments were another confirmation to me that leaving the IFB was the best decision for my family.

We have now entered 2012. The past year has been full of ups and downs. 20/20 aired six months after they told us it originally would air. The more they researched, the more information they uncovered. I was surprised that the show was only an hour. Of course, the firestorm of IFBdom hit and the hatred that spewed from various IFB sites toward Tina and others really surprised me. It made me realize a few things, which I wrote about here. While having to deal with the lies, character assassinations, twisting of facts, and people’s assumptions and their version of the “truth,” we (especially Tina) also had the stress of the looming trial of Ernie Willis.

That trial was probably the most stressful thing that Tina has gone through during our marriage, other than being married to me. That’s a whole new level of stress on her. Anyway, what a roller coaster of emotions that she went through with giving her testimony, hearing others testify, having people she knew and didn’t know show up to support her, intimidation tactics, legal maneuvers, etc. I can only imagine how she felt. I know I felt very anxious and tried to keep my mind on my job while also keeping up with the events of the trial. We thank all those who supported Tina during this time and this also includes the people from our church that came to take care of our three kids while I went to work during the day. The timing of the trial also caused Tina to miss our son’s kindergarten graduation. You can imagine Tina’s disappointment.

Blog activity regarding Tina’s story seemed to wind down by the end of summer. The sentencing of Tina’s rapist happened in September and the blogs started up again. Activity died down again and then the news that Chuck Phelps was on the BJU Board and things picked up again with the primary focus being on BJU, Chuck Phelps, with the use of Tina’s name again. What’s been amazing to watch is where Tina’s story has impacted lives. We knew it would be talked about but we didn’t realize how much. We hoped it would impact and inspire people to stand up for victims but we didn’t realize how polarizing it would become. It’s hard to take a hard look at yourself and realize that you have been doing things that are harmful to others and unscriptural but it’s much harder for a church or religious organization to do that. Human nature screams “defense, defense” instead of “be open, vulnerable, honest, and willing to change” when confronted with mistakes or sin.

After Chuck Phelps was not on the BJU Board any longer, things quieted down for the holidays. That’s been a blessing. Discussions are still going on in various places but hopefully the story continues to encourage victims of abuse to seek help, advocates to be supportive, pastors to examine their methodology and ways they may be condoning abuse, church members to stop defending or making excuses for abusers (whether pastor or layman) in their congregation, and colleges to evaluate their policies of reporting abuse and teach their students proper responses to abuse, such as: reporting, love and support, compassion, and acceptance instead of blame.

I know this is not the end of Tina’s story. It’s bound to pop up again in the public eye. I’m just wondering what will happen next. At the beginning, I told Tina that I’m going into Marine mode, hence “Tina’s Marine.” I’m here to support and defend her. Our prayer has always been for God to move in ways that only He can move. We’ve seen that happen. We’ve chosen to be used by Him for whatever His purpose. We have also tried not to be a hindrance to Him by seeking our own form of justice or manipulation of who’s impacted by Tina’s story. Our goal was to help see justice, which we’ve seen happen on a number of different levels. Only God knows what other justice God has planned. Our goal was to show others that they are not alone and to encourage others to speak up. Each day more and more are encouraged to speak up for themselves and others. It makes our journey worth it.

"God's grace and goodness towards us is so immeasurably great, that without great assaults and trials it cannot be understood" ~ Martin Luther

From My Heart: The Responses of Bob Jones University and Chuck Phelps to Tina Anderson

This video is an interview of Brian Scoles, a spokesperson of Bob Jones University, and a local Greenville, SC psychologist regarding Chuck Phelps' resignation from the board at BJU.

I've been discouraged and disappointed with every public response I've seen from BJU and local press. First there was a not-so-subtle reference by Dr. Bob Jones III from the chapel platform to the public expression of disappointment and disagreement with Chuck Phelps being placed on the board at Bob Jones University. Then there was the statement read by BJU Executive Vice President for Operations, Marshall Franklin from the chapel platform on November 21, 2011--a statement posted and then removed from the BJU newsfeed (as of 9:52 p.m. 12/06/2011). For the purpose of clarity, a pdf screenshot of the original statement is included below.

BJU Statement Re Chuck Phelps on Board

Does it even matter to BJU or Chuck Phelps that the jury delivered a verdict? Ernie Willis was found to be GUILTY of forcible rape--felonious sexual assault. Yet Chuck Phelps still has documents on his website calling Tina Anderson a liar -- a website that Bob Jones University PROMOTED and ENDORSED both on its website in the written statement and from the chapel platform when Marshall Franklin spoke on Nov. 21.

A jury of his peers found Willis GUILTY of FORCIBLE RAPE and Chuck Phelps and by extension BJU are calling Tina a liar. And if the board of BJU has a problem with this they sure aren't saying anything. What is wrong with them??? How much does Tina have to continue to suffer at the hands of these people? Chuck Phelps gets a pass for calling her a liar STILL. BJU gets a pass for agreeing with him. Where is Tina left in all of this? She is STILL being shamed and shunned by the people that should care for her more than anyone else -- they claim to be Christ followers! This is not representative of the Jesus that suffered and gave up everything to suffer and die for our sins. NOT grace. NOT love. NOT compassion. NOT Jesus. I am so broken and hurt by the way my alma mater and former pastor and boss is treating this whole thing.

Why should one single rape victim ever ask for help from anyone in the Bob Jones University circle of pastors, grads or churches? Why? Why should any rape or molestation victim ever trust any of them? Bob Jones University appears to care more about STEVE GREEN and his music (preached against in chapel March 1992) than it cares about a young girl who was abused over and over and over again.

Chris Leaf, Tina Anderson's biological mother, allowed her husband Daniel Leaf, (the convicted child abusing, sex offender stepfather) to abuse Tina and her brother, Tom. It's a matter of court record that while those children were under the shepherding care of Chuck Phelps the stepfather was imprisoned for a second time for physical assault of Tom. Court records indicate the vicious bruising results of the beating Tom took from a BELT WITH METAL RIVETS IN IT at the hands of Daniel Leaf (who still to this day is married and living with Chris Leaf). Tina and Tom both still have scars from the buckle end of a belt at the hands of Daniel Leaf on their backs and legs. As an aside, the first prison sentence Daniel Leaf served for assault of the children was in Arizona. While he was in prison Chris Leaf moved to NH to be closer to her family. When Daniel was released from prison Chris allowed him to come back into her home.

Why does Chris Leaf and her indefensible choices as a mother even matter in a discussion of the responses of Bob Jones University and Chuck Phelps to Tina Anderson? Well, it is Chris Leaf to whom Chuck Phelps refers to defend his choices in response to Tina Anderson's rape in 1997.

In conclusion what we have here is two sides:

1. A poor excuse for a mother that exposes her two biological children over and over again to a convicted child beater and molester, the giant of fundamentalist Christian universities--Bob Jones University, and one of their graduates--Chuck Phelps saying Tina lied. Oh... and Ernie Willis who claimed on the witness stand under oath that he asked a 15 year old girl if she would like to engage in sexual intercourse with him and she said yes (yes--that is what he said). Chris Leaf and Chuck Phelps are saying Tina lied -- the jury got it all wrong when they found Ernie Willis guilty of forcible rape. And Bob Jones University, via statements by Bob Jones III and Marshall Franklin, supports Chris and Chuck.

2. A woman that never had anyone speak up for and protect her as a child--molested, physically assaulted and raped. Validated by a week long court case that SHE DID NOT CONSENT to Ernie Willis' criminal act. That SHE SAID NO. That she was RAPED FORCIBLY. A woman that did NOT seek any of this--the police CAME TO HER and asked her to cooperate in the prosecution of Ernie Willis.

I just want to make it clear to current students and graduates of Bob Jones University. You may not like those clear facts. They aren't trifling minutia such as has become the focus in other debates (like: did Chuck Phelps call the police -- YES, was Ernie Willis a deacon -- NO). This isn't about little errors others have gotten wrong. Before you feel sorry for Chuck Phelps, remember he still is calling a rape victim a liar. Not an alleged rape victim. Willis is CONVICTED of forcible and statutory rape. And Bob Jones University is standing behind Chuck Phelps as he calls Tina a liar.

Are YOU standing behind Chuck Phelps too? Grads and current students, you have a choice to make. You have incontrovertible facts. Chuck Phelps AT THE VERY LEAST should remove the statements accusing Tina of lying from his website. AT THE VERY LEAST he owes her an apology for keeping them up over six months past the conviction of Ernie Willis. The court found that Tina did not lie--that Willis forcibly raped her. She did not consent--was not in a long term dating relationship. She was raped.

Bob Jones University AT THE VERY LEAST owes a public statement of apology for agreeing with Phelps that Tina lied. Marshall Franklin read that statement without even calling Tina like he did Chuck Phelps! Marshall Franklin violated the very biblical principles he was advocating in the statement he read.

I'm not saying that current students and alumni need to rage and rampage. But if you have the information, you are responsible for it. It's that simple. Two sides:  those proclaiming to be Christian ministers calling a rape victim a liar -- and the woman that endured in her faith because of the grace of God that was vindicated by a court of law. Choose one.

BOB JONES UNIVERSITY, CHUCK PHELPS, AND FUNDAMENTALISM

When I was growing up, Bob Jones University (BJU) was the primary college of choice. Our pastor was a BJU grad and we had BJU ensembles and speakers come through our church all the time. I’ve heard Bob Jones, Jr. and Bob Jones III speak in our church and have had pictures taken of them and with them. I was one of those kids that would go to the preacher after the service and have them sign my Bible. I know I had their signatures and many, many others but unfortunately I lost that Bible at a hay ride youth activity at South Mountain when I was in high school.

While I was in high school, it seemed to me that if you were to go to college, you were supposed to go to a Christian college and the ones who did mostly went to BJU but a few went to Maranatha Baptist Bible College (MBBC) and even less went to Pensacola Christian College (PCC). These were the colleges that we grew up hearing about. Any other college that we may have heard of was considered too liberal or headed in that direction.

I would have followed everyone else’s footsteps but in my junior year of high school our church started its own college, International Baptist College (IBC). I decided to stay home and I did my first two years of college at IBC but joined the Marine Corps Reserves during my last semester and that summer disappeared into the military for about six months. When I came back, for a number of reasons, I did not go back to school at IBC.

Over the years, my siblings and I have gone to and graduated from four different Bible colleges. One sibling has a degree from MBBC and BJU. The other went to PCC but graduated from BJU. I went to PCC for two years but graduated from IBC and almost finished a master’s degree. A couple years later I went to MBBC and earned a second bachelor’s degree. Although I never took classes at BJU, I’ve been on their campus several times over the years.

My point is that my siblings and I grew up in a church that was and still is independent, fundamental, Baptist and the Christian school that was associated with it and we have been a part of four major colleges that heavily influence the IFB world as we know it.

This whole situation with BJU, Chuck Phelps, and the rest of the IFB, really hurts me deeply. It’s a huge betrayal of all that I was taught. I grew up hearing quotes like: “Do right until the stars fall” and “The greatest ability is dependability” and "Don't sacrifice the permanent on the altar of the immediate" and many others. I grew up to admire these men, thinking they were men of God. What they said, we thought was “gospel” because they said it with authority and used Scripture to back up what they said.

In the classroom, I was taught Greek, Hebrew, Hermeneutics, Bible doctrine, Theology, Bible, and all the classes pertaining to becoming a preacher. I sat under preaching during chapel and church services that espoused everything that you would expect to hear while a college student at a Bible college. I learned a lot and took it to heart, especially when it talked about what it took to be a man of God, a good husband and father, and other sermons and lessons regarding the character a person of God should possess. When I prepared sermons, I did what they taught me and I looked at context, studied the Greek, and applied what I was taught in my various classes. It never occurred to me to take a verse and use it as a jumping off place to preach what I wanted it to mean. I didn’t realize how many preachers did this because I was moved by their stories and enthusiasm and I wished I had that talent.

I’m disappointed with Chuck Phelps because he is the opposite of what I’ve always been taught that a man of God should be. Confidence is one thing but pride and arrogance are another. Authority is one thing but abusing that authority is another. Honesty and integrity is one thing but twisting or rewording the truth to make yourself look better is another. Guidance and counsel is one thing but manipulation is another. If you made a mistake, own up to it. Ask for forgiveness. Do your part in righting a wrong instead of compounding it by trying to hide what you know to be the truth so that you can “save face” in front others.

I’m disappointed with Bob Jones University because, even though I didn’t go there, I thought they stood up for what was right. If someone was on their board or a teacher in their school that did not hold the values that they taught, I would have expected them to make some changes. Instead, they refused to listen to those with legitimate concerns and just blew them off with an attitude of pride and self-righteousness. This is not the first time this has happened but it’s the most current and maybe the most obvious example of the superiority mindset of the school. It makes me concerned that the students coming out of there are picking up the same mindset which influences the churches and schools where they minister.

What bothers me most is their extra-Biblical teaching. Their views have been modified based on the changing of the times, bad press from the media, social activism, and many other reasons. But, If racism is wrong, it’s always wrong. If mixed marriages are wrong, they’re always wrong. If accreditation is wrong, it’s always wrong. If it’s a preference or an opinion, say so and say why but don’t condemn others because they disagree with you.

They, and many others like them, have taught and preached about things using Scripture but they were misusing Scripture and then their students come out doing the same thing. When I look back on myself, I did the very same thing. I was taught certain things and thought it was based on Scripture, only to realize later that it’s really a preference or another man’s opinion. I accepted and adopted philosophies as my own because those I thought that those with more experience knew what they were talking about.

I’m disappointed in fundamentalist Baptists as a whole. There are exceptions but over the past year and a half my eyes have been opened by their lack of compassion, their lack of integrity, their lack of standing up for the abused. They’d rather protect their image than to protect their character. They’re afraid of how people will look at them on the outside and not how God looks at them on the inside. The things I’ve learned over the past year about the movement that I grew up in has made me realize that I never want to be an independent, fundamental, Baptist again. I believe in the fundamentals of the faith as taught through Scripture but I found out that Baptists do not have the market cornered on Bible truths.

I’m also disappointed in myself. I realized years ago that there are different churches for different kinds of people but I had it in my mind, due to my training and background, that if churches and people didn’t do things like I did then they were less spiritual and as they grew spiritually, they would look more like me and my church. It wasn’t until we made a decision that we couldn’t stay at our current church that I was forced to decide where to go, which also caused me to evaluate what I believed and what I had been taught. I realized that your music doesn’t indicate your level of spirituality. A church’s worship team was not an indication of apostasy. A person's appearance is not a manifestation of a person's heart towards God. The “world” is not the things you do, such as: clothes, food, drink, music, movies, tattoos, etc. but the mentality of your heart, such as: greed, lust, hate, pride, and many more.

When I looked at Scripture I thought I was the tax collector praying “be merciful to me a sinner” but I came to realize that I was the Pharisee saying “I am not like…(other sinners)..” Then I felt like I became like the Pharisee who came to Jesus at night and had to learn what Scripture really said and not what I thought and taught it was saying. Eventually, just like that Pharisee, I left. I had to leave. I lost a lot with that move but I gained so much more.

I’m not saying that all IFB church members and pastors are Pharisees but looking back on myself, I was and I didn’t even realize it. Maybe you are too. I’m far from perfect and I still wear a mask at times to others but in my new surroundings I can be more honest and open about who I am because I don’t have to worry about looking perfect. I can be more honest about my faults and learn from others who might have the same weaknesses and struggles that I have. It’s been very enlightening and encouraging.

This is my question, “Is it more important what people think about you by the way you act and dress OR what you really are on the inside, the person that God sees?”

Statement to the Concord Police

This statement has been saved as jpg images to prevent the alteration of any words. It is posted here exactly as it was submitted to Detective DeAngelis.


Tina Anderson Statement to Concord Police

I am not angry

I wasn't in chapel today at Bob Jones University. I only have the reactions of those that were there to go by at this point. I just want to offer a few words of clarification about my intent in keeping up with this blog.


I'm not angry or bitter. I'm sad. Grieved. Torn. Disappointed. A child went through unbelievable trauma and the pastor that contributed to it hasn't been humble enough to repent and seek forgiveness. Where is the Gospel in that?

Child abuse, rape, molestation -- it has touched me -- my family -- loved ones close to me -- personally and deeply. I speak because I love God's work.

I think sometimes strongly controlling organizations get into message management when they are trying to do damage control. I can't assign that motive to BJU, but based on what has been done so far, I want to say that I  believe there is more harm in limiting the information students get on campus about this matter. I think there's more harm to only promoting one side, to shutting down conversation, to defining the "opposition" by deflection, projecting, name calling or maligning intent by labeling emotions. The real harm comes from hiding sin. The real harm comes from failing to admit that the church at large has had a problem with covering up child abuse. It is not just the Catholic church, it's a problem within fundamentalism too.

Until those that have erred -- even with good intent -- confess their wrong, ask forgiveness and are willing to talk about it openly, this topic in general will continue to be very difficult. There will continue to be hurts. Bob Jones University is teaching students that will go out into the workplace and churches and communities that will have to deal with this issue. Many of those graduates will become mandatory reporters. If they do not see an example before them where these things are openly addressed, it hurts them. It hurts the Gospel. It hurts the name of Christ.

Oh, and for the record, with regard to the trial notes section of this blog:

• Every effort was made to carefully write down as much as possible--almost a full notebook.
• Where there was a question about something, every effort was made to compare with the three reporters that did live blogging and other attendees that took copious notes.
• If there was EVER one single area where something was doubtful because of incomplete notes, it was LEFT OUT of the notes transcribed for this blog.
• The heart and motives of the people taking notes was pure--seeking only to convey the truth. There is no bitterness, wrath or malice from this person toward Chuck Phelps or the Lord's work. 

I do have a suggestion:  if Bob Jones University is truly committed to pursuing love and truth in this matter, how about they seek the full support of Chuck Phelps to contact G.R.A.C.E. (Godly Response to Abuse in the Christian Environment) and ask them to consider the facts and give counsel. GRACE "provides individual assistance and counsel to churches and Christian organizations who are in the midst of addressing abuse issues within their respective bodies."

Petition Update

Thank you to everyone that has signed and/or passed the word on to friends! As of this moment there are 822 posts. One quick note about the petition: once you sign the petition, you will be taken to a page that says your signature is accepted. Then you will be taken to a page where the petition site asks for a donation. You DO NOT have to donate to sign the petition. The petition site provides the ability for anyone to create and/or signn petitions for free. Obviously the site owners get revenue somehow to provide a free service. It's a combination of donations and advertising.

Please continue to spread the word!

Sign the petition to ask Bob Jones University to remove Charles "Chuck" Phelps from their board.

Bob Jones III Gives Tacit Approval of Chuck Phelps

In his chapel message on Tuesday, November 15, Bob Jones III addressed the difficulty some pastors are facing around the country, exhorting students to pray for their pastors. He then went on to address the situation at Penn State regarding Joe Paterno's bare minimum compliance with reporting policies of a young boy by one of his longtime friends, Jerry Sandusky. This is the point at which Bob Jones III decided to give a tacit endorsement of Chuck Phelps and his actions towards Tina Anderson in 1997 and then again when her story became public up through the rape trial of Ernie Willis.

Quotes from the message (within first 11 minutes):

"...I’ve been away a great deal this fall in church, after church, after church -- literally from coast to coast. An impression has accumulated on me in the process that is - that faithful, Bible preaching men of God have never been under such assault -- satanic assault -- as they are today..."

"And then there are the efforts of angry and bitter people who would not endure sound doctrine, who instead of turning the conviction of the Holy Spirit upon themselves when the word of God is preached, they turn it outward upon the messenger. They go on their blogs and Facebooks and they start defaming and ridiculing and even some times slandering their pastors, accusing them of all kinds of unjust things. And in the process of that it weighs heavily on you. You know, in all of that there is only one thing to do about any of that, is ignore it and not to read it -- you can’t do anything about it. It’s one of the curses of technology. There are some good parts of it but there are some curses too, and that is one of them. You just don’t pay any attention to them -- you go about your business. You know you are doing right in the eyes of God and that’s all that matters ..."

"I share that with you because I think it is indicative of the growing venom and hatred against Christians whose testimony is bright for the Lord and unashamed, and you are going to face that as these days come nearer to the coming of the Lord. We are warned of those days. We were told about those days in Paul’s epistles and we shouldn’t be surprised that these days have come upon us. These days when people will hire preachers who will tell them what they want to hear and tickle their ears. They don’t want the truth -- they want to be flattered. They want to hear what they want to hear and if they don’t hear that they will find another preacher somewhere. There is always another preacher in any community who will tell them what they want to hear. It’s just that way in the end times, and it goes on and on until the Lord returns. But this is not unusual -- Peter told us not to be surprised when these things happen. The Lord said when you are ridiculed as the prophets were, rejoice and be exceeding glad. They were persecuted ahead of you and you will be persecuted if you have a testimony for Christ..."

"Before I come to the message I would just like to say one more thing because I think that in times like these it’s necessary for the university to be on record. You have probably heard the last week about the scandal at Penn State. Joe Paterno, their venerable coach, has been involved in it. I saw a little blurb yesterday that said it is possible that he might even face criminal charges in this. One of their people in the athletic department years ago molested -- he was a sexual pervert -- he was accused of being a sexual pervert and molesting some boys. The charges are that the president of the university and the vice president, I think, and the athletic department including Joe Paterno knew about this and swept it under the rug and did nothing about it. If that is true, it is shameful and there should be some criminal actions taken against those -- not only the man who did those things -- but the person who covered them.

I just want to tell you for your own peace of mind that Bob Jones University doesn’t do that. There’s an elementary school here, a high school here, a university here, a graduate school here. Physical molestation -- sexual molestation -- it will not be swept under the rug. It never has been -- it’s not the way we operate. It’s always reported to the authorities. There are some very clear guidelines written for anybody employed here, including student workers who work with children about what will happen -- what we will do -- about what this institution will do if we hear of such activity as that. Nothing is swept under the rug. Nobody would be kept here who did despicable deeds like that. Nobody would be kept on the board or on the faculty or staff who did such things as that or swept things like that under the rug. It’s just not the way we do things. And so I just want you to know that because this was another educational institution and it’s been much talked about. I want you to know that you can just tell anybody that might say anything to you, that by the grace of God the institution I attend does not function that way. It never has. And I know that I speak for the president and all the officers of this institution that it never will..." [punctuation is my own, as best I could tell from his speaking]

 Dr. Bob III doesn't really elaborate on what he means by "sweeping something under the rug." There is an excellent response to what Dr. Bob III had to say in chapel by Darrell here:

"The two topics are addressed in conjunction because they are not unrelated. They're seeing the online backlash against their support of Phelps and questions concerning his placement on the board. They see this as "persecution" of both Phelps and themselves. 

Then they protest their innocence (and Phelps' innocence) by saying that they always report crimes to the police. Ergo, since Phelps reported Tina's rape to the police he therefore fulfilled his obligation and is innocent of any wrongdoing.

That would be all fine and good if it weren't for the pesky fact that Phelps stood in his church while a man confessed to "adultery" instead of "rape" and allowed that lie to stand. He then introduced Tina's confession as a completely unrelated matter. That was a cover-up. That was sweeping it under the rug. And Phelps is guilty of it in a moral if not a legal sense. 

Not that I ever expect BJU to admit this. But it's documented from multiple witnesses that this is, in fact, what happened. This makes Bob Jones III either 1) willfully ignorant or 2) a liar."

I'm astounded that Dr. Bob III is taking this path by defending someone who is not above reproach -- who has not shown evidence of repentance for his incorrect statements issued before the trial that were stated differently on the stand as a witness at the rape trial of Ernie Willis. Charles "Chuck" Phelps has never apologized to Tina or even made a statement at all to her since the conclusion of the trial. Regardless of his reasons for doing so, he should not be held in high regard and added to the board of Bob Jones University. If BJU will "separate" from other Christians over such issues as music, Billy Graham crusades/services, or any other "standard," then surely the way Chuck Phelps handled Tina Anderson should qualify for their discernment when considering him for their board.

Campaign To Remove Chuck Phelps From BJU Board

Specific actions supporters and friends of Tina Anderson can do to help in the Campaign to Remove Chuck Phelps from the Bob Jones University Board.

1. Sign the petition:  http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/chuckphelps/

2. Write a letter asking Bob Jones University Administration to remove Chuck Phelps from the board.

• Bob Jones University, 1700 Wade Hampton Blvd, Greenville, SC 29614
• See a list of administrators and other board members to write here: http://www.scribd.com/doc/71215504/Bob-Jones-University-2011-2012-Board-Members
• Thanks to this blog, I know we need to adjust the plan for contacts at BJU.

• The Articles that control how the boards work at BJU are set up so that a limited number of people really have any control: "In short, the chancellor and chairman of the board and his most trusted cronies are the ones with all the power. They decided they loved Chuck enough to bring him back in the middle of a scandalous trial that exposed Chuck's penchant for equivocation and self-contradictory statements, and they're the ones who would have to decide whether or not to chuck him out now. Applying pressure on BJU's employees and administration is good, but what about the old white guys who really matter?"
• Here is a list of men that really control this decision. Please contact them:

•  Mr. Bob Jones III, chancellor@bju.edu
• Mr. Larry Jackson, larry.jackson@jacksonmg.com His bio is here: http://www.jacksonmg.com/services/bios/larry-jackson/
• Dr. Walter Kirk, walterkirk1@netzero.net or baptisthomemissions@juno.com Walter Kirk is also on the board of directors for the Fundamental Baptist Fellowship International (FBFI) and pastors Trinity Baptist Church (705 Crane Creek Road, Salisbury NC 28146, Phone: 704-639-1436, IFB church)
• Dr. John Lewis, wjlewis2@charter.net or faithdav@juno.com pastors Faith Baptist Church in Davidson, MI (7306 E. Atherton Road, Davison, Michigan 48423, Phone: 810-653-3573, IFB church with an attached Christian school). I find this name particularly interesting because John Lewis was the pastor back in the 70's, 80's and part of the 90's at Harvest Baptist Church and Harvest Christian Academy on Guam. I attended that church and school my last two years of high school. I witnessed abuse there. Family members experienced abuse there. I still have contact with former students that experienced abuse there. There was a lawsuit at some point that required Harvest to stop "spanking" students. It doesn't surprise me in the least, given my own personal experience with John Lewis, that he would agree to have Chuck Phelps on the BJU board. John Lewis shouldn't be on the board either, in my opinion.
• Dr. John McLario, jmclario@wi.rr.com Now retired, he started a law firm  in Wisconsin. McLario has ties to Bill Gothard and was part of a 1970's controversy involving members of the Bob Jones University board that were Masons. Dr. Roland Rasmussen who later had a falling out with Bob Jones, confronted McLario on whether or not he was a freemason. 
• Mr. Ralph Matthews, ralphmatt37@gmail.com CEO of Matthews Industries in Decatur, AL (Phone: 256-353-0271)

PLEASE still contact the administration, other board members and pastors you know that will be concerned about this, but also urge them to contact the men that control the final outcome of the decision. 

3. Write a letter to churches that you know support Bob Jones University and ask those pastors to speak out against this travesty. (List of supporting churches coming soon)

4. Call Bob Jones University to express your disapproval of this action.

• 864-242-5100

5. Use social media

• Twitter

• Bob Jones University Alumni Association is on twitter so you can tweet from your own account with a link to the petition and tag BJU by adding @BJUAlumni to your tweet. When you use Twitter, use the hashtag #RemoveChuckPhelps (with no spaces or other punctuation than the # symbol)

• ABC 20/20 is on Twitter. Post the petition link and add @ABC2020 and   #RemoveChuckPhelps to the tweet

• Elizabeth Vargas is on Twitter. Post the petition link and add @EVargasABC and  #RemoveChuckPhelps to the tweet

• Comment on Bob Jones University's Facebook wall  
• Comment on Elizabeth Vargas' Facebook page where she did the last update of Tina Anderson's story -- when Ernie Willis was found guilty of rape.
• Comment on ABC 20/20's Facebook page either on the discussion board or on the last update post 20/20 put up after Willis' sentencing.

6. You can comment on Elizabeth Vargas' web page - She is the journalist that did the interview of Tina Anderson and other survivors from IFB churches in Shattered Faith.

7. Contact Media Outlets

• Media Outlets in Indianapolis, IN

• Indy Star Contacts
  or   Indy Star on Facebook  

• WTHR NBC
Channel 13   or   WTHR on Facebook 

• WRTV ABC
Channel 6   or   WRTV on Facebook 

• WXIN FOX
Channel 59   or  WXIN on Facebook 

• WNDY
Channel 23   or   WNDY on Facebook 

• WFYI 90.1
FM   or  WFYI on Facebook 

• WIBC 93.1
FM   or  WIBC on Facebook 

• Media Outlets in Greenville, SC

• WYFF NBC
Channel 4   or   WYFF on Facebook 

• WSPA CBS
Channel 7   or   WSPA on Facebook 

• FOX
Carolina   or   FOX Carolina on Facebook 

• WLOS ABC
Channel 13   or   WLOS on Facebook 

• Greenville News:  Letter to the Editor    or   Greenville News on Facebook 

Note: Back-ups for articles can be found on Scribd if they disappear from the internet.